What did the big red phone box say to the little red phone box? 'You're too young to be engaged.' Will and Guy know a lady who works in Directory Enquiries in England and these are a few of the calls she receives, sometimes more than once:. 'I'd like the number for Windsor Safari Park, please.' 'I'm sorry, madam, but it closed down in 1992.' 'It can't have, I took my grandchildren there last year.' .

• Christian Phrases For Telephone Games

'Give me the number for Middlesex County Council.' 'Sorry, sir, but the council was abolished in the mid-70's.'

Our New Year’s Eve party games for every age help create a memorable party guests will talk about all year long. The guest with the shortest time wins the game. Try the following words and phrases: Champagne; A noise maker. Adults Bible Board Games Brain Teasers Camping Card Games Cards Christian Christmas Communication Conversation. Telephone (Game) Have the children sit in a circle, or around the table. Start with one child and whisper one of the phrases shown below into his or her ear. Have that child whisper the same phrase into the ear of the child to his or her left, and continue around the circle until the last child is told the phrase. Some good words and phrases for Pictionary include snowball, bathroom scale, french fries, garden and muffin. When choosing words for the game, a person should keep in mind the ages of the players to ensure the selections are age-appropriate. Pictionary is a fun party game that is similar to.

. 'Can I have a Chinese please?' 'Which town please?'

'This one, of course'. Wrong Number? Very early one morning the 'phone rang at Barry's house, it was 3am. He picked up the phone and a woman bellowed into his ear, 'Is this 2983645?' 'No, I'm sorry, this is 2983642,' Barry answered, surprisingly calmly. 'Oh, I'm so sorry for disturbing you then,' the woman said. 'That's alright,' Barry murmured, 'I had to get up to answer the 'phone anyway.'

Will found this tale on a website entitled, a site created by Brent Preece, and it is included here because it is so funny. This story was related by Pat Routledge of Winnepeg, Ontario, Canada about an unusual telephone service call he handled while living in England.

It is common practice in England for the telephone company to signal a telephone subscriber ring the phone by applying 90 volts between one side of the two wire circuit and ground (called 'earth' in England). When the subscriber answers the phone, the phone switches to the two wire circuit for the conversation. This method has changed since this was written - Will and Guy This particular subscriber, an elderly lady with several pets, called to say that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions when it did manage to ring her dog always barked first. Torn between curiosity to see this psychic dog and a realization that standard service techniques might not suffice in this case, Pat proceeded to the scene. Climbing a nearby telephone pole and hooking in his test set, he dialled the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring. He tried again.

The dog barked loudly, followed by a ringing telephone. Climbing down from the pole, Pat found: a) Dog was tied to the telephone system's ground post via an iron chain and collar. B) Dog was receiving 90 volts of signalling current. C) After several jolts, the dog was urinating on ground and barking. D) Wet ground now conducted - and the phone rang. A is for academics, B is for beer.

One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need block-paving, windows, nor a hot tub, and their carpets are clean.

They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they may get back to you. You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of your voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment.

Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep. I am David's answering machine. What are you?. Hi this is Sonya. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.

Please leave a message and then wait by the phone until I call you back. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us. How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

Leave a message and I'll get back to you. We might be in, we might be out, but leave a message and you might find out!

Here are Snippets take from our other pages of funny phone jokes 911 in USA or 999 in UK Caller One - Wrong number? Dispatcher: 911 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid. Caller Three - Wrong order? It may have seemed like an emergency at the time, but an inebriated man from Hebron, Connecticut, USA, is now regretting his call to 911. The 35 year old man was arrested when Police reported that he called 911 numerous times and told the dispatcher he was out of beer and asked them to pick up more for him. He was arrested for disorderly conduct and will appear in court soon.

Solar-powered payphone in Lake Victoria, Uganda A man in Hamburg, Germany kept getting phoned, but when he picked up the receiver there was no-one on the other end of the phone. To begin with he paid the phone company to block the number. However, it was expensive just to stop one nuisance call, so he phoned the police. The police soon tracked the calls to a barber's shop.

What happened was that every time someone paid for the haircut by credit card, the credit card machine erroneously dialled the wrong number. What Will and Guy cannot understand is why nobody at the barber's or the credit card company noticed the problem. Fortunately, there was a happy outcome and the barber's credit card phone was re-programmed. Footnote: Having just moved into his new office in Whitehall, pompous, newly promoted Lieutenant Commander Rodney Grant Royal Navy was sitting at his desk when Leading Seaman Jones knocked on his door. Particularly aware of his new position, the commander quickly picked up the phone, told the seaman to enter, then said into the phone, 'Yes, Admiral, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir.' Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed young Jones man, he asked, 'What do you want?'

'Nothing important, sir,' Jones replied without batting an eyelid, 'I'm just here to connect up your new telephone.' School Answering Machine - Joke or True? This is the message that a School staff in the Worcester area voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine. This is the actual answering machine message for the school.

It came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and Parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are now being threatened with legal action by some parents who want their children's failing marks changed to passing marks - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the term and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass their various key stages. The Message: 'Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school.

As a drama teacher, you’re probably familiar with a handful of tongue twisters that you introduce to your students as a rehearsal warm up. Tongue twisters are great for helping kids concentrate on working all their articulation muscles. And they’re just plain fun.:) I’ve compiled below a list of some of my favorite that you can mine from for your next rehearsal.

Before introducing a new tongue twister I usually ask my students to crinkle their face as tiny as possible for 5 seconds. Then to make their face as big as possible for 5 seconds. Then I’ll introduce the tongue twister, and we’ll practice it as a group.

After that I’ll ask a few brave students to stand and attempt to say it 5 times in a row. Make sure you encourage them to use their “stage voice” when speaking. Another great variation is to have the group stand in a circle, then ask each student to say the tongue twister in a different emotion. (Angry, sad, happy, scared, frustrated, confused, etc.) Or, begin to your right and challenge the students to begin happy but gradually get progressively more and more angry as students take turn around the circle.

If you have a favorite tongue twister that isn’t included here, leave it in a comment below! The Ultimate List of Tongue Twisters Unique New York Three free throws Red Leather, Yellow Leather I thought a thought.

But the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I thought. One-One was a racehorse. Two-Two was one, too. When One-One won one race, Two-Two won one, too.

Say this sharply, say this sweetly, Say this shortly, say this softly. Say this sixteen times very quickly. Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers! Increase the tempo.) Silly Sally swiftly shooed seven silly sheep.

The seven silly sheep Silly Sally shooed Shilly-shallied south. These sheep shouldn’t sleep in a shack; Sheep should sleep in a shed. Red Bulb Blue Bulb Red Bulb Blue Bulb Red Bulb Blue Bulb Red Blood Blue Blood I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won’t wish the wish you wish to wish. She sells seashells on the seashore. Mix a box of mixed biscuits with a boxed biscuit mixer. A proper copper coffee pot.

Betty bought butter but the butter was bitter, so Betty bought better butter to make the bitter butter better. I thought a thought. But the thought I thought wasn’t the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn’t have thought so much. How much wood could a wood chuck; chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood. Comical economists. Which wristwatches are Swiss wristwatches?

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Where’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked? Sascha sews slightly slashed sheets shut. She should shun the shinning sun. The big black back brake broke badly.

Christian Phrases For Telephone Games

The big beautiful blue balloon burst. A shapeless sash sags slowly.

Smelly shoes and socks shock sisters. Which wrist watches are Swiss wrist watches? Dick kicks sticky bricks.

Shave a single shingle thin. Stick strictly six sticks stumps. Cinnamon aluminum linoleum.

New York is unanimously universally unique. Cooks cook cupcakes quickly. Flora’s freshly fried fish. A bragging baker baked black bread. Buy blue blueberry biscuits before bedtime. She sold six shabby sheared sheep on ship.

The sixth sick sheik’s son slept. These thousand tricky tongue twisters trip thrillingly off the tongue. Deke Eusey Jul 12, 2016 at 11:17 am Wrong.

It’s: Oh, here’s a to-do to die to-day At a minute or two to two, A thing distinctly hard to say, But a harder thing to do. For they’ll beat a tattoo at two to two, A rat-a-tattoo at two Boohoo! And the Dragon will come When it hears the drum At a minute or two to two to-day, At a minute or two to two! Why hullabaloo? You die to-day At a minute or two to two, A thing distinctly hard to say But an easy thing to do! For they’ll beat a tattoo at two to two, A rat-a-tat-tat tattoo for you! And the Dragon will come When he hears the drum; There’s nothing for you to do but stay, And the Dragon will do for you!

From the opera ‘Merrie England’, libretto by Edward German. Ann Matthews Jun 24, 2018 at 6:11 am Give me the gift of a grip top sock. A dip-drape, ship-shape, tip-top sock.

Not your spiv-slick, slap-stick, slip-slop stock. But a plastic elastic grip-top sock. None of your fantastic slack swap-slop.

From a slapdash, flash cash, haberdash shop. Not a knick-knack, knit-lock, knock-kneed knickerbocker sock. With a mock-shot, blob-mottled trick tick-tocker clock. Not a rucked-up, puckered up flop-top sock. Not a super-sheer, seersucker pukka sack-smock sock. Not a spot speckled, frog-freckled cheap sheik’s sock.

Off a hotch-potch, moss-blotched botched Scotch block. Nothing slip-slop, drip-drop, flip-flop or clip-clop. Tip me a tip-top grip-top sock!